Wednesday 22 October 2014

...of disapproval

That hand dangling, slowly swaying above the small change spread out on the open palm... they too see it, they have seen it, they have been able to observe it at close range, their eyes too have followed, taken in the skimpy form of a deplorable tight-fist... they've seen her, the innocent defenceless girl, led on by him, not daring to turn back toward them, her nearest and dearest, to call on them for help... Stealthily they followed her, they slipped in behind her until they reached the den where she was sequestered, riveted to him, debased... they carefully inspected the entire place and then left on tiptoe, their eyes filled with tears, weeping over her, her wasted life, her broken heart... Seized with terror, she tears herself away from him... torn in twain, mutilated, gasping for breath, she forces herself to follow them, clings to them, begs them... They should not abandon her, if they'll only come back with her, it doesn't matter, they can come in... they should look even more closely... they should help her to recover, rediscover... there was in him such richness, such real wealth, these should be found... they must remember, they had seen them, they too, like her, they had been dazzled by them... Is it possible that by itself, a single gesture like that one could... they are already ashamed, aren't they, they who are so indulgent, so broad-minded, to have attached such importance to something so petty? Merely to have noticed such a trifle, couldn't this also show pettiness in them? She would blush to confess this to him, he would have every reason to scorn her...
They remain motionless, silent... she seizes their hands, hugs their knees... Just a word, a look, to reassure her, they can still save her... They shake their heads... Alas, my poor child, what can we do about it? What can we do in the face of the rules by which we are governed, precepts founded on wisdom, on experience that harks back to remote Antiquity? This one: you know it well, what's the use trying to forget it? She stops her ears... Gently, firmly, they remove her hands... You must have the courage to listen: Ab unglue leonem.

["Fools Say", Sarraute, N.]

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