...of a caveman

Back in the cave Janet’s made a nice fire.
“So what did numbnuts want?” she says. “Are you fired?”
I shake my head no.
“Is he in love with you?” she says. “Does he want to go out with you?”
I shake my head no.
“Is he in love with me?” she says. “Does he want to go out with me? Am I fired?”
I do not shake my head no.
“Wait a minute, wait a minute, go back,” she says. “I’m fired?”
I shake my head no.
“But I’m in the shit?” she says. “I’m somewhat in the shit?”
I shrug.
“Will you freaking talk to me?” she says. “This is important. Don’t be a dick for once,”
I don’t consider myself a dick and I do not appreciate being called a dick, in the cave, in English, and the truth is, if she would try a little harder not to talk in the cave, she would not be so much in the shit.

[Pastoralia, Saunders, G.]